It was May 26th, 1996 - Graduation day from UMass Amherst. I thought that I was short of graduating because of two classes where I needed B's but only received C's. (Doesn't it figure that they went ahead and graduated me! I received my diploma in the ICU.) I was bummed out that day because I wasn't graduating with my classmates and I didn't want to "walk" if I hadn't earned my degree. I attended the graduation ceremony anyway and watched from afar.
I had moved most of my things into my mother's apartment in Quincy where I was going to spend the summer. I was going to take those couple of classes at UMass Boston to finish my degree. I was going to be the starting goalkeeper for their soccer team and hoped to go on to play professional soccer from there. I had been the captain of the junior varsity team at UMass Amherst and played on several club soccer teams in western Massachusetts. I kissed my mother goodbye and told her that I was going back to Amherst for one last party weekend and to clean out my apartment. I told her that I was going to quit drinking on my own accord and dedicate my summer to getting in the best shape possible for soccer in the fall. We were excited!
After the graduation ceremonies I made it back to the apartments at Brandywine where I lived. I joined some friends at a graduation party at an apartment on the third floor. It was a lovely sunny day. I was on the balcony horsing around and unfortunately went over the railing. I fell thirty or so feet to the grass below. I came to rest prone on the ground with my head turned to the right. There was a small trail of blood from the corner of my mouth; I had broken a tooth upon landing. I lay motionless for a while and was conscious the whole time. I struggled for a while to catch my breath; it felt like I had been kicked by a donkey directly in the chest. My best friend was the first one to my side after I fell and I reached out and squeezed his hand. He called me names and tried to reassure everybody that I was fine. He probably assumed that I would get up at any moment and dust myself off... at least he hoped. It soon became apparent to me (as I couldn't move my legs) and to everybody else that I was hurt very seriously.
When my mom arrived at the hospital, she stormed into the ICU demanding answers. They put the doctor on the phone with her and threw a chair under her; so that she could absorb the news. When people were finally allowed to see me, I was lying on what looked like a gurney and I was in traction with weights attached to my skull by screws. I was in a drug induced coma. My father said that there were tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. The sight broke his heart.
I developed pneumonia and a fever of 105. The doctors put chest tubes in both lungs, cut a hole in my neck and put me on a ventilator. The morphine drip gave me night terrors 24 hours a day. At one point a priest was called in to administer the last rites.
It was quite a battle in the beginning. The trauma staff didn't expect me to live longer than a couple of days so they carelessly left me on a spine board. After three days they rolled me off of the hard, plastic surface and found that I had developed a tremendous pressure sore on my tailbone. The sore quickly escalated to a stage four ulcer that was so deep you could clearly see the bone. After months went by and it didn't heal, I had to have major surgery as a last ditch effort to heal it. The surgery was a success until one of the stitches broke loose spawning another sore. I spent the following summer in bed being rolled from side to side, eliminating pressure on my rear end allowing it to heal. It was back and forth for many years until everything was under control regarding my rear end. If I develop any sign of a sore I have to act fast so that it won't develop into something much more serious. Any sign of a pressure sore means staying in bed and off of my rear for days at a time or more until everything heals up. Sepsis (an infection that gets into the bloodstream) is the second leading cause of death (pneumonia is #1) in quadriplegics. A friend of mine passed from sepsis that he developed from a sore on his tailbone. Christopher Reeve passed from sepsis as well.
I am very diligent and do frequent pressure releases. I frequently tilt my power chair back to allow blood flow to my rear end. I have to check my feet often to make sure that I don't develop any sores there either. Just the weight of my feet lying on a bed or shoes on too tight can cause a sore on the heels. During the summer (when I am too vain to wear socks) I really have to be careful that I don't get any blisters that can become sores. Recently I had a sore on my toe that caused my big toenail to fall off. Not long ago I had a few blisters on my heels that were pretty serious! Each time that I get a sore on one of my feet it means that I have to wear slippers for up to several months at a time... which is not comfy in the winter!
One of the worst experiences was trying to get used to the "nerve pain." Anybody who has experienced a spinal cord injury or loss of a limb has experienced this unique kind of pain. It is an extreme burning sensation that is unlike any other. I used to tell the nurses in the hospital that it feels like I have lava in my veins. Even morphine did little to provide any relief. I would say it feels as if the affected part of the body is severely sunburned from the inside out.
After a few months the doctors decided that I should wean off of my pain medication. I was intoxicated when I had my accident. I was then put on intravenous morphine, tapering to intermittent morphine injections. From there they put me on oral Percocet and later they put me on Motrin. I had one hell of a hangover by the time they put me on Motrin!!! Today I don't take any pain medications because I don't like the side effects and I don't want to experience a life on narcotics. I am still constantly in pain. I feel the nerve pain all of the time but I don't notice it much anymore because I have built up a "tolerance." Sometimes it does erupt to a point where it will bother me but because I am used to the pain, it isn’t as severe as it was in the beginning. I also have constant upper back, shoulder, and neck pain because I use these muscles constantly and it puts a strain on them. The only way that I can get any relief is deep tissue massage.
After taking a Medflight down to Atlanta on the smallest plane imaginable, I was on a stretcher and my nose was about 2 inches from the roof of the plane, we arrived at The Shepherd Center. I had been completely bedridden, lying on my back for four months. Upon arrival, they sized me up and immediately put me into a wheelchair. It was an amazing feeling. We went for a stroll to check out the rest of the facilities. I had put on a tank top and this was my first time in their elevator. When the doors opened I didn't realize that the back of the elevator was mirrored from floor to ceiling. I had lost between 50 and 60 pounds in the hospital but when I saw it for myself it was too much to bear. I broke down and cried. That was one of the last times that I truly felt sorry for myself!
I am very diligent and do frequent pressure releases. I frequently tilt my power chair back to allow blood flow to my rear end. I have to check my feet often to make sure that I don't develop any sores there either. Just the weight of my feet lying on a bed or shoes on too tight can cause a sore on the heels. During the summer (when I am too vain to wear socks) I really have to be careful that I don't get any blisters that can become sores. Recently I had a sore on my toe that caused my big toenail to fall off. Not long ago I had a few blisters on my heels that were pretty serious! Each time that I get a sore on one of my feet it means that I have to wear slippers for up to several months at a time... which is not comfy in the winter!
One of the worst experiences was trying to get used to the "nerve pain." Anybody who has experienced a spinal cord injury or loss of a limb has experienced this unique kind of pain. It is an extreme burning sensation that is unlike any other. I used to tell the nurses in the hospital that it feels like I have lava in my veins. Even morphine did little to provide any relief. I would say it feels as if the affected part of the body is severely sunburned from the inside out.
After a few months the doctors decided that I should wean off of my pain medication. I was intoxicated when I had my accident. I was then put on intravenous morphine, tapering to intermittent morphine injections. From there they put me on oral Percocet and later they put me on Motrin. I had one hell of a hangover by the time they put me on Motrin!!! Today I don't take any pain medications because I don't like the side effects and I don't want to experience a life on narcotics. I am still constantly in pain. I feel the nerve pain all of the time but I don't notice it much anymore because I have built up a "tolerance." Sometimes it does erupt to a point where it will bother me but because I am used to the pain, it isn’t as severe as it was in the beginning. I also have constant upper back, shoulder, and neck pain because I use these muscles constantly and it puts a strain on them. The only way that I can get any relief is deep tissue massage.
After taking a Medflight down to Atlanta on the smallest plane imaginable, I was on a stretcher and my nose was about 2 inches from the roof of the plane, we arrived at The Shepherd Center. I had been completely bedridden, lying on my back for four months. Upon arrival, they sized me up and immediately put me into a wheelchair. It was an amazing feeling. We went for a stroll to check out the rest of the facilities. I had put on a tank top and this was my first time in their elevator. When the doors opened I didn't realize that the back of the elevator was mirrored from floor to ceiling. I had lost between 50 and 60 pounds in the hospital but when I saw it for myself it was too much to bear. I broke down and cried. That was one of the last times that I truly felt sorry for myself!
I like to call The Shepherd Center a "boot camp." At the crack of dawn attendants come to your room, put your clothes on and put you in your wheelchair for the day. You had to adjourn to the cafeteria and eat with all of the other disabled individuals. If you needed help eating there was always someone there to assist you. However, the emphasis was on the patient doing as much as he or she can on their own. So, as you can imagine, you didn't get any help unless you really needed it. The rest of the day consisted of physical therapy, occupational therapy, meeting with the adaptive technology department, and specialized classes explaining different aspects of how life would be different with a spinal cord injury. These classes were no joke and if you skipped them you were in trouble! One of the funniest things is that in the beginning they put alarms on the tires of your power wheelchair. Newbies had to get the hang of driving their wheelchair before they were allowed to leave their floor. If they got into the elevator without supervision and alarm would go off! After passing the driving test the alarms were removed and we were free to roam the building and go outside.I am very thankful for the Shepherd Center. There work you extremely hard but they teach you that there is life after a spinal cord injury!
One of my roommates at The Shepherd Center was a grandfather who sustained a spinal cord injury when his ATV flipped over on top of him while four wheeling in the woods. He was on a ventilator and couldn't move anything below his neck. He had no will to live and I heard him say many times that he wished he had died. It was a very sad situation. There was an 18-year-old kid with the same prognosis as the grandfather after he had suffered a similar injury during a high school football game. The difference was that he had a good attitude and was always smiling! There are many people in the world that are much worse off than I am physically. There was a traumatic brain injury unit at the Shepherd Center which made me very grateful that I didn't have any serious brain damage as a result of my fall. I could have multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, or ALS. All of these afflictions involve losing more and more function over time and can lead to death (the end result of ALS is always death.) I am a quadriplegic paralyzed at a high level but luckily I will not lose any more function as a result of my initial injury. I will take what movement I have left as a blessing and as long as I take good care of my body I will live for a long time.
I give all the credit for being able to live 15 years after my accident to a great network of family and friends, doctors, having good personal care attendants to take care of me, being more and more self aware over the years and just taking good care of my body. Preventive medicine is the best medicine. I am very grateful to be alive.
I am going to write a book one day so if you want more details you are just going to have to wait... or you could just ask!
One of my roommates at The Shepherd Center was a grandfather who sustained a spinal cord injury when his ATV flipped over on top of him while four wheeling in the woods. He was on a ventilator and couldn't move anything below his neck. He had no will to live and I heard him say many times that he wished he had died. It was a very sad situation. There was an 18-year-old kid with the same prognosis as the grandfather after he had suffered a similar injury during a high school football game. The difference was that he had a good attitude and was always smiling! There are many people in the world that are much worse off than I am physically. There was a traumatic brain injury unit at the Shepherd Center which made me very grateful that I didn't have any serious brain damage as a result of my fall. I could have multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, or ALS. All of these afflictions involve losing more and more function over time and can lead to death (the end result of ALS is always death.) I am a quadriplegic paralyzed at a high level but luckily I will not lose any more function as a result of my initial injury. I will take what movement I have left as a blessing and as long as I take good care of my body I will live for a long time.
I give all the credit for being able to live 15 years after my accident to a great network of family and friends, doctors, having good personal care attendants to take care of me, being more and more self aware over the years and just taking good care of my body. Preventive medicine is the best medicine. I am very grateful to be alive.
I am going to write a book one day so if you want more details you are just going to have to wait... or you could just ask!
